Weasley Boys On How To Romance A Book Worm
by FlirtyFlapper
Summary: Fred Weasley seems to have lost his suave charm when it comes to handling a ladies, one lady in particular actually. Late night reading seems to be his demise when it comes to charming the Weasley sweater off Hermione Granger. He comes to the conclusion he should ask for advice from his brothers. Updates on weekends; rated M for the proper reasons
1. Chapter 1

Okay... sooooooo here goes nothing!

My very first Harry Potter Fanfiction. I'm nervous...

Read. Rate. Review. Be jolly and eat beef roast

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He really didn't know what it was about her. In fact, she stood for everything he hated. She was rigged, snooty, book smart, and lacked self confidence. Don't even get him started on the clothes she wore. She looked like her grandmother dressed her. Nearly every inch of her was covered. She never wore make up and her hair... her hair just pissed him off! It was so wild, so untamed, and so very unfitting. He was free flowing, clever as hell, street smart, and was always up for a laugh. So, why in Merlin's name was he in the burrows living room watching her read?

There was no logical explanation for Fred Weasley to be in his parents home, pretending to sleep on the floor near her chair, his head under a book. He just wanted to watch her. The way she rested her cheek upon her hand while her eye moved rapidly, taking in each word. Sometimes her mouth would move as she mouthed the words silently or she would smile slightly. Her hair was pulled back into a large mess of a bun and her body was hidden under a large Weasley sweater. His mum seemed to always get Hermione's size wrong. The deep blue made her honeyed eyes shine a little brighter.

It pissed him off.

How in the hell did she manage to hide every bit of her figure? Seriously. This girl didn't even try. She was the only girl in the whole damn school who didn't try. The first years made more effort and they are 11! Even Luna tries... sure, she is extremely colorful but she had taken to brushing her hair and wearing makeup lately. Hermione could easily charm her hair or pick a shirt that wasn't 2 sizes too big. Her uniform skirts irritated him the most though. The damn thing came below her knees! Hermione Granger lacked sex appeal.

And yet... He was so very attracted to her.

He shouldn't even be looking her way! She was 2 years younger than him and his brothers best friend. Well, one of his best friends. Quite frankly, he didn't see why Hermione hung out with them. Harry may be cool as hell but he wasn't very sharp and Ronniekins was... well, he didn't exactly cast the brightest_ lumos. _Hermione was brilliant! That girl was a certifiable genius and the thing was she didn't even know it. She was so convinced that she was only a little smart because she studied. But the twins had noticed it her first year. She could easily match anyone in their year. George had noticed it first, surprisingly. He had pointed it out in the great hall when Hermione had changed someones work for them. They had thought it awfully funny, assuming it was a prank on an upperclassman. They were extremely disappointed when they realized she had corrected. A sodding first year had fixed a third years course work!_  
_

Fred had watched her closely after that. She had started spending the summer at the burrow and Fred had been far too happy. Luckily, George was the only one to notice. Even the little Word Nerd never noticed.

"Fred?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you please stop staring at me? It's quite uncomfortable."

"Oh really, oh wise one?" He turned to his side so that he was facing her "Why in Merlin's name would my eyes, my lovely eyes if I might add, caressing you make you uncomfortable?"

"Maybe because you call staring 'eye caressing' or maybe because you've been at it for hours." She glared. "Oh, I know what it is! It is the complete lack of decency. I feel like you're taking my clothes off and it is most unwelcome whilst I am reading." She hissed at him. A brown lock had slipped a bit from her bun and the wisp of hair tickled her neck.

"You mean it would be welcome if you weren't reading? Well then, Dearie, put down the book." His eyebrows wriggled at her and she bushed furiously. It made his fingers ache. He wanted to feel the heat in her cheeks.

"Th-that is not what I meant and you know it." Her cheeks puffed up as she pouted.

"Oh, come on 'Mione. You know I'm only kidding. I'd never dream of asking you to put a book down." He sat up and slid closer to her.

She smiled a bit and it was one of his favorite looks on her. It was shy and sweet and held all of her know it all charm. It wasn't quite a smirk. No, she was not cocky enough for that. But it warmed his heart and it made him smile too.

"What are you reading? It has to be awfully boring to keep you interested in it for," he looked a the clock "3 hours."

"It's a muggle story."

"How very vague Miss Granger. Come on, details!" He was leaning against the chair and was rapidly patting her legs, which she had thrown over one of the chair arms. He was behaving quite childishly. But he was touching her and it gave him tingles.

She blushed. "It's something of a romance." She looked at him, patiently waiting for a crude remark. Fred had always been a bit more playful than George. Though, when it was just the two of them he seemed to be a little more resigned.

"I did say details. I won't have you leaving me hanging." He smiled at her. It was a bit crooked; his mouth seemed to turn up more at one end. It was endearing. It seemed to add to his rouge like charm. Fred was always the unreachable one. He flirted a bit with girls but it seemed like he was too far off to catch. She would have to be someone special to be with him, Hermione thought frequently. She would have to understand that he wasn't really meant to be caught; he was a free spirit. He would need someone to love him for who he was, and she would need to be stern with him. Fred often took pranks too far when George wasn't around to restrain him.

The nagging feeling in her stomach when she thought of the kind of girl Fred would need to be with made her stop. She thought of it too often. She thought of Fred too often. But he had become a very close friend and suddenly he was all around her. As an example, this very moment; Fred had brought her a cup of tea when she took her book to the sitting room, and he had stayed. He had grabbed a book and laid on the floor. He had flipped to middle, which didn't make any sense to Hermione at all because she was quite certain he had never read the book before, and as he pretended to read he had stared at her. FOR THREE HOURS.

The worst part? She didn't even mind.

She told him all about the book. She had gotten so wrapped up in telling him that she didn't notice him grab her feet and start rubbing. The pressure was lovely and she sighed. His lips quirked up in that goofy smile and she melted a bit more. He really was attractive. Sure, he had an attractive face but it was more than that. He had a certain charm, a radiance. It definitely came from within. Maybe Hermione just had a tendency to look for it, but she was sure it was there.

He seemed to be hanging on here every word. She couldn't bring herself to give him a simple summary. She told him about every character, gave a summary of each chapter, details about the scenery. She flushed as she realized she had told him the ending.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you the ending."

"It's not like I'm likely to read it." He chuckled. "You've read it before? And you're reading it again... you are a strange one Word Nerd." He said as his fingers lightly dragged over her arch. She squealed and pulled her foot away. "Ooo! She's ticklish!"

She flushed again. "It's a good book." She wasn't going to acknowledge his comment.

"Do you read smutty novels often?" his eyes were sparkling with mischief.

She cleared her throat. "I suppose... I sort of started last summer. Ginny lent me one. It's nice. I'm always reading educational books. And it isn't like I have a whole lot of romance in my life." She mumbled the last bit. Her eyes went wide. She had relaxed a bit too much. That bit wasn't supposed to slip out!

"Oh 'Mione, you could though. You just have to abandon those awful sweaters and baggy clothes."

She prickled and he instantly regretted it. He hadn't meant it in a cruel way. He knew she had faced a lot of criticism about her looks. He couldn't understand it. She was gorgeous! She just dressed a bit... frumpy.

"I'm off to bed. It's late." She said softly. She pulled her other foot away from him and walked up the stairs without another word.

Fred groaned. _Bollocks._

_"_You're an idiot."

"How long have you been there?" Fred asked his twin.

George was leaning against the door frame with a smirk. "Long enough to see you make a complete arse of yourself. You used to be so smooth. Not as smooth as me, but enough to avoid offending the ladies. Then you go and insult the one that actually counts." He was laughing.

"Oh shut up!" He said before going upstairs.

He really needed to work on this... oh god, he was going to have to ask for advice. _He_ was going to have ask for _advice_!

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Review please! I try to update every Saturday or Sunday!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm hoping to get this up pronto because I have access to the laptop right now. Trying to balance 2 other fanfics with creative bursts and a sister and her boyfriend in college using the laptop. It's MADNESS! Or is it Sparta... I wish we had a nice pit of doom.

ANWAY!

Which brother is up first? CONTINUE READING AND FIND OUT!

Read. Rate. Review. Be Jolly and enjoy pizzelle!

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Fred could not believe he was doing this. He paced in front of the old wooden door. He was trying to work up the nerve to knock. He wasn't shy, he just didn't want his brother to know he was having such a hard time figuring out how to romance a certain lion maned nerd. He wasn't likely to let Fred forget it; not after being subjected to prank after devilish pranks.

He was about to knock on the door when it opened.

"Are you gonna pace out there all day or were you planning on coming in at some point?" His brother looked at him expectantly.

"How'd you know I was out here?"

"Hermione put this brilliant charm on the mat. It lets me know when someone is outside my door, whether I'm in here or not."

There she was again; his brilliant little minx. "When'd she do that?"

"After you and George put itching powder in my boxers before my date with Lavender."

"Oh like you weren't grateful! She's awful. Even if she was a good shag... you can only put up with so much for a roll in the hay." Fred really hated Lavender. He typically didn't pass judgement on a bird. He had even found her amusing at some point. The way she clung to Ronald was hilarious and every time she opened her mouth something absolutely sickening came out. The twins had teased _Ickle Ronniekins _for months but they both agreed that she was absolutely mad.

Fred had once seen her lick her hand after they held hands. Fred had simply walked away and kept the information to himself. Well, he told George, of course. But he considered that keeping it to himself. He had attempted to subtly hint at how crazy she was to Ron but Ron was on the shag-wagon. He was blind to all but physical pleasure. That was until Lavender had told Hermione she wasn't welcome anymore. That had snapped Ron out of his orgasm induced haze. He had immediately dumped Lavender Brown and apologized to everyone. No one was sorry to see her go.

"What do you want Fred. It's," He looked at the muggle watch Hermione had gotten him 2 Christmas' past, "6:30... 6:30? Bloody hell, go back to bed you lunatic! No one is up yet. Mum isn't even up yet. Are you barmy?"

Fred rolled his eyes and pushed the door open before strolling in. He looked around without needing to. Ron never moved anything. Fred knew for a fact that there was a loose floor board just below the window that Ron hid money and a few bits of things he found in his father's storage. He also knew that there was a dirty magazine under the cushion of the chair across from the window. He bet that there was a blue button under the rug in the center of the room. Fred and George had cast a small enchantment that caused Ronnikins to swell enough to pop the button of his jammies.

"Shut the door." Fred ordered. He pulled the dirty mag out from under the dull quilted cushion. He sat down, crossed his right leg over his left, and flipped through till he found a pretty brunette. She was nice but her eyes weren't smart enough, her mouth a bit too large, and her hair much too orderly. Her body was decent enough but he knew that Hermione didn't have curves quite that generous. He didn't mind. He was already attracted to her and he couldn't even tell if she had the swell of breasts under her sweaters.

Other women had become dull. Well, that was interesting to learn. Just a few weeks ago he had been flirting up a storm in the store. Now, he was blasé about a total fox. What had she done to him? He tossed the magazine over his shoulder and steepled his fingers.

"Ronald Billius Weasley, you have something I want."

"I don't have anything!" Ron said hastily. He looked terrified.

"Oh, but you do. I'm in need of information." He started out sickeningly sweet but his voice lowered and took a menacing tone at the end.

Ron gulped. He felt like a chicken backed into a corner, only the fox was playing with him before he took his head off.

"You see, Ronniekins, I need information about Hermione."

"Why?" Ron prickled. Fred really liked that even though he knew Fred could take him down he stood up for his friend.

"Doctor-Patient confidentiality, I'm afraid." he shrugged nonchalantly.

"You're not a doctor." Ron rolled his eyes.

"The information." Fred gave a smirk but his eyes were cold. He wanted details and he wanted them before breakfast.

"Why are you asking me?"

"You're her mate, her bro, her bestie. If you don't have information then Harry will be useless. He has no head for details when it comes to birds other than Ginny. I asked him what color Mione's eyes are and he said 'I dunno. Gray?' He can really be dense. Her eyes are clearly caramel with flecks of honey and bits of chestnut."

"Are they eyes or a cup of girly coffee?" Ron laughed. Fred didn't respond. "What do you want to know? I'd like to make this quick. Some loon woke me before 9am on a Saturday. I need sleep." He yawned.

How could he be tired? Fred was wide awake. In fact, his head was buzzing. He had at least 3 ideas for products that he wanted to run by George, a few marketing ideas to discuss and he was thinking about that book Hermione was reading last night."

"What are her favorite foods, favorite color, flowers, books; those types of things." Fred was getting giddy.

Ronald groaned and flopped onto his bed. Fred hexed his butt and he shot up.

"Alright!"

Fred listened with rapt attention.

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We shall see how he uses Ronald's information in the next chapter. Who do you think is after Ron? What is Fred's plan of action?

Review, pleasssssssssseeeee! Just curious, how old should they be in this? I've left it open for now but age and timing make a huge difference.


	3. Answering Questions feel free to skip

Hey! So, I got a couple intense reviews and I am really grateful! I realized I might have been inconsistent and a bit confusing. I am going to try and clear that up. I will address a couple of the points here so that I don't have to do it in the Header/ Author's Notes section so I can just keep moving with the story!

1. AGE; Hermione is 18, soon to be 19 and Fred is 21. Hermione is going back to Hogwarts to finish her education in the fall (It is roughly June-ish)

2. I am going to keep the brother's order a secret. I have finally settled on an order!

3. Hermione thinks of Fred as a "close friend" because she spends so much time with the Weasleys. Fred thinks of her as an "acquaintance" because he feels he doesn't know enough about her to call himself her friend. It seems a little confusing but I believe that sometimes people can feel differently about their level of friendship and I think this a great situation for this.

4. Fred's lack of knowledge about Hermione's favorites and things is due to his lack of observational skill when it comes to females. (There will be some explanation in this chapter!) He has only recently acknowledged having feelings for 'Mione, whether they were present for much longer or not is irrelevant to him.

5. Hermione wasn't uncomfortable with Fred rubbing her feet because she has been spending a lot of time with the entire ginger clan.

6. I feel I should just mention this... I am taking liberties with this. It isn't exactly to story or movie or anything. I'm rolling with what's in my brain at the moment. The time line is probably going to be a bit screwy and there will be mistakes. I haven't read HP in... too long. This story is set after Voldemort was defeated because, quite frankly, I'm shit at writing in that kind of drama.

I really hope I was able to clear some stuff up!

I kinda hate updating things like this but the new chapter will be up soon so look out for it!


	4. Chapter 3

I really hoped I answered some of the most pressing questions and was able to clear up the story.

P.S. The reason Ron was so intimidated by Fred is because Fred has pulled some nasty pranks on him in the past and Fred used that to his advantage. He really wanted that information...

Taking liberties with Hermione's favorites here! Also... I like Fred and George a bit tall and with blue eyes not brown; just a personal preference so that is how I write them.

Read. Rate. Review. Be jolly and enjoy cold linguine with basil.

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This could work for him... hopefully. If it didn't he would have to go ask another one and quite frankly he hadn't exactly been keen on asking Ronald. He had spent a good portion of the morning listening to his little brother hum and mumble out half-assed answers. He had probably zapped Ron a few too many times. He thought about it for a moment. _Nah_. He deserved it. It wouldn't have taken nearly as long if he had just sat up and answered the questions instead of trying to sneak over to his pillows.

It was now nearly 9:30 and the Burrow would be rising soon. Fred had considered making breakfast for her but then everyone wold want some and he wasn't up for that kind of responsibility. He shuddered at the thought. He would settle for a cup of coffee; a bit of fresh cream and a spoonful of sugar, just like she liked it. He hadn't needed to ask Ron about that. She had asked him to get her coffee almost every summer. She was usually knee deep in books and couldn't get out for the bitter cup of liquid pep.

Suddenly, he didn't mind all that much.

He fixed the cup of coffee and padded up to the room Hermione was sharing with Ginny. He thought it was strange that Ginny had even decided to stay for the summer. She was usually inseparable from Harry and Teddy. He would have to ask Hermione why she had decided to come home. He didn't mind at all, but he was a curious soul. Curious cat's often get killed, or so he has been told, but thus far he has been pretty satisfied. He would bet that satisfied curiosity starved off death. He could write a paper on it.

He needed some sleep.

He shook his head to clear away the wandering thoughts about curious cats and theoretical papers about satisfaction. He knocked on the door to Ginny's old firmly and loudly. Ginny was a sound sleeper and he wasn't about to wait all morning with a cup of caffeine in the hall. He waited for a moment while he heard shuffling and a soft "ow" when there was a muffled thud. He checked his smirk before the door opened. _Holy mother of Merlin_...

Hermione stood before him in a large worn Ireland t-shirt, which he suspected was his, and nothing else. The green fabric was brushing the middle of her thighs. Her hair was wild. He hadn't imagined it could get any more unmanageable than it was on a daily basis, but he was wrong. Her curls were firmer and stuck up in various, gravity defying directions. Her eyes weren't completely open and they were heavy with sleep. Her soft little mouth was open in a small yawn.

Damn.

"Fred... isn't it unreasonably early for you to be knocking on doors?" Her voice was rough and crackly as she spoke.

"I'm shocked! 'Mione, it is nearly," Fred checked his watch-less wrist, "after 9:30. You should be up and about doing whatever is you do."

"Fred, I don't want to be up and about. I want to be back in bed. We were up all night!" She groaned and leaned her head against the door frame.

"I've got coffee though." He smiled when her body perked up a bit. "And we all know coffee is the cure-all. So, get to sipping, Granger!" He thrust the coffee at her and he was relieved when she sighed with a hint of a smile.

She took a sip and her smile grew. " I don't know how you do it, Fred, but yours always tastes the best."

His chest was warm and his stomach flipped. She thought his was the best! He was filled with pride. He would be happy to make her a steaming cup of coffee every morning if he got this reaction.

"It's the love. Can you taste the love?" He said sporting a goofy grin.

Her cheeks flushed a bit. _He didn't mean it that way_, she reminded herself. She cleared her throat. "I sincerely doubt that _that_ is your secret."

"You're right. It's a drop of troll snot." He deadpanned. She chocked. He tried to keep a serious face but failed miserably.

"Fredrick Gideon!" She shrilled. He winced. Who wouldn't?

She pushed his chest playfully and there was a long moment before she pulled her hand back. He could see the pale white etchings of letters on her arm. He had a dangerous desire to lift it to his mouth and lavish kisses on the word. He could feel her fingers flex through the fabric of his shirt. He longed to feel the warmth of her palm on his skin. Her eyes were focused on his chest in what looked like a sleepy haze. He smirked.

Looks like the bookworm wasn't immune to the charms of a Beater's body.

That was useful information. So far much more useful than her favorite color or her favorite song. He had figured knowing a bit more about her would help him but now he kind of wished he had had the chance to learn all of those things on his own time with her. The only helpful bit of his chat with Ron at the moment was...

"Let's go on a walk. The grass is still a bit damp and everyone is still asleep so no one will bother us. And if you're afraid of a bit of water then I can always carry you." He wriggled his eyebrows. She laughed. She pulled her hand back realizing it was still against his chest. When had they gotten to close together?

"That sounds great, but I'm going back to bed until your mum comes in to rip the curtains open." She smiled at him and pulled away. She placed the empty cup in his hand and stepped back into the room. "Thanks for the coffee, Fred."

The door was in his face and instead of hand in hand with Hermione, he was hand in hand with an empty mug with a ship in the handle. Ron had assured him that Hermione would never pass up a quiet walk around the Burrow grounds while the grass was still dewy. He had said it was her favorite thing to do at the Burrow. Clearly, he was wrong! It didn't quite occur to him that the hour of asking coupled with the few hours of sleep she had gotten could have swayed her answer.

Oh, Merlin. He would need to ask one of his other brothers for help...

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Who's next? YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!

Beater bod's... yummmy!

I'll try to update super soon! Thanks so much for reading! Reviews are appreciated beyond belief!


	5. Chapter 4

Here we go! Yet another long awaited chapter. I really need to get my shiz together. I haven't updated anything in months... who would have guessed that ACT and SAT prep would be so time consuming?

ANYWAY! YAY! FREMIONE! Who will Fred ask for advice from next!? READ ON AND FIND OUT!

Read. Rate. Review. Be jolly and Enjoy poprocks.

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Merlin have mercy on him. He was going to regret this... in fact, he was regretting it already. He was taking an inordinate amount of interest in the grain on the table he currently sat at. Fred really couldn't give a damn what the stain was or how many rings there were. He just wanted to escape the scrutiny of his brother's gaze. Really though, the eyes currently staring at him were going to make him go up in flames.

"You're joking," Bill said with a smirk that reminded Fred of George just a little too much.

"Not at all."

"But Fred... you've never had girl trouble. Ever! It's what I enjoy most 'bout you! You have a certain foolish ease around them. It's amusing as hell." Bill laughed and had a far off look in his eyes.

Fred did't particularly like to think about how easy all the other girls had been. That sounded a bit bad; all the other girls. There had been a few, okay, _a lot,_ but not as many as Charlie had had. Fred took great care when it came to picking who he spent his time on. He was a successful business man and a professional prankster; he didn't have time to be spending time on dating. He knew exactly how to calculate the least amount of time he would have to spend with a girl to get her into his bed. He wouldn't tell anyone how proud he was of that, especially Hermione. She'd knock him down a few time with some nasty hexes. He shuddered at the thought.

"Look, Bill, You're married which means you clearly have the best long term success rate out of us Weasley bunch. I'm in a bit of a bind. I could get out, mind you, if she wasn't such a damn enigma! I mean, really, I think she's going to go left and she goes right. I think she wants sweet and the damn wench goes for savory." Fred grumbled to himself. He was beginning to frustrate himself.

Bill was choking back a laugh. He had never seen Fred like this. Hermione had really wound him up. Bill had always known that the twins were too smart for their own good which often led to boredom, and with Fred and George, that led to pranks. They just couldn't sit still. Fred had never been the level headed one in the duo, but he wasn't an idiot. He had mystified Bill as a child and mesmerized him as an adult. Seeing him practically tearing his hair out of Hermione Granger was... well, worth his annual salary.

"I don't really know what to say..." Bill tried.

"Anything! I'll try anything at this point. She's driving me loony! I don't know what to do to get her to see that I'm..." He flushed and cut himself off.

"You're?" Bill smiled. His little brother was in love with the brightest witch of her age. Merlin, help him!

Bill could imagine them in a years time, engaged and living together, the house in a constant whirlwind. Hermione would be hunched over a pile of books with hair all mussed up looking like something Crookshanks had thrown up and Fred would be working on a new item for the store. Fred would get bored and move towards Hermione to bother her. She would playfully smack him and tell him to go back to work but they would end up laughing and kissing.

"I'm nothing," Fred forced a cough, "You're giving advice."

"I suppose I ought to at least try." Bill ran a hand through his long hair. "I guess, I would suggest trying to reason with her logical side. Show her that you're the bet possible option for her. You need to make her see you as a potential partner and not just a friend. Identify yourself as an Alpha male."

"How the bloody hell am I supposed to do that!?" Fred looked at him with wide blue eyes. His brother had gone mad!

"Hmmm..." Bill leaned back in his chair. "Financially? Take her out and buy her something... I don't know, Fred. You're a smart kid. Figure it out yourself. I already have a wife. I don't need to worry about how to help you get one!" Bill rolled his eyes.

Fred sputtered. "I'm not...Th-that is... I wasn't... You're barmy! I was just looking for a bit of fun!" He stood abruptly, knocking over his seat and he huffed away.

_What. An. Arse._ Bill thought with a chuckle.

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There we go. Sorry, it is short and unedited and improper in most places but quite franky, at the moment I don't give a damn!

Thanks so much. REVIEW PLEASE!


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